Online therapy flaws

December 2022

 Online therapy flaws

Is online therapy right for you?

   Not so long ago, the notion that such a large portion of our lives would have been relocated to the virtual online world, seemed like something depicted in science fiction. Having a perfect stranger choose your grocery shopping for you, attending meetings and even medical appointments in cyber space is now deemed to be "convenient". In fact for most people, it's really no more  opportune at all; Something like an uncomfortable mattress that the dog was sick on so can't be returned, or a blue coat you waited 6 weeks to be delivered that turned out to be more green than blue. What's could be simpler than stopping by a nearby outlet (your local traders need your business now, more than ever), buying what you need with the advice of an assistant who's knowledgeable and has your full attention? You get to see, touch and try out your purchase, then take it home in your hand that same day? Personally, I prefer to choose the produce from the top of the display, where it's not battered, bruised, squishy and mouldering underneath. When there's no tuna on the shelf, I don't want to receive laundry detergent or pet food instead. 

   Not only does the disconnect that's come about affect our local businesses and the local economy, but it's delivered a fatal blow to the remnants of our "community". We don't need to be intimately acquainted with the humans behind the doors near ours, to simply know who belongs and who doesn't when home contents are hastily being loaded into an anonymous vehicle in the street. Even if pot luck shopping suits your needs, there's some things in life for which nobody should have to settle (for second best). I would argue your health is one of those and that your mental health even moreso. 

   Many will argue the successes of online therapists, but the fact is that online therapy is not psychotherapy. As a stop-gap during a global emergency, without doubt, the benefit has been undeniable. You'll find a "not the same as face-to-face psychotherapy" disclaimer on most websites. It's a simulation, with all the limitations and impediments of a simulation. Your practitioner is like a restaurant that can only offer you half the menu, or a surgeon with one broken hand. 

   There are more reasons why a face to face convergence of patient and practitioner is the optimal method for this discipline. A consulting room is a truly sacred space and an representation of confidentiality itself. Rules that clinicians live by and that assure patients their deepest help thoughts will remain within the confines of the physical and symbolic space, not unlike the confessional booth in a church. More than that, both parties leave the trappings of life at the door, devoting the time within this sanctuary to healing.

   A space that's dedicated only to healing, with intimacy reflected in the choice of decor, every picture frame in place, carefully selected furniture. The themes of trust, safety and a dearth of judgement all play their part. Undoubtedly the principle concern demanding consultations occur in the office, is that of confidentiality.

   Most people have realised by now that online privacy was never anything more than a myth. When the patient is in a home or work environment, it's a "make shift" alternative, or there could be echoes of less peaceful moments. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas and what happens in the consulting room, stays in the consulting room. The practitioner/patient relationship extends as far as the door..no further. For example, should you encounter your therapist in a social space, it would be exceptionally unprofessional for them to publicly acknowledge you (without your express permission) or risk exposing any details about the patient, their life or a reason for knowing them. Once the boundaries of the space within which they can speak freely are blurred, so those reassurances are lost. 

    For most people, there will be discussion of traumatic events, raw emotions and painful memories. A great benefit is acquired by the addition of body language and facial expressions for both parties. Indeed, one of the primary tasks in psychotherapy is to guide and assist the patient in discovering, extracting and managing repressed, forgotten and painful memories, that the patient may well be unaware are an issue. Picking up on potentially buried details depends on analysing such mannerisms, as well as speech patterns, irregular emotional responses and numerous other "tells", detected only due to the familiar understanding founded with time and trust.

    At the end of the day, your mental health is too important to employ half measures. Frankly, I believe a worthwhile practitioner won't want to be limited in such a way. It may be your preference and feel easier not to have to travel to the meeting, but it's more than just a doctor's office. You deserve the best, so if you're thinking about online therapy, do consider everything you want to achieve from the process. Is a simulation really what you need? When the actual journey has been subject to decades of research and study.

Well, there you have it. Without overarching trust between the two parties afforded by strict confidentiality, it's essentially a futile endeavour.

What is confidentiality in therapy?

 Online therapy is not psychotherapy

  Ethical issues in online counselling   

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The 1980s illegal ravers reunited

 

The 90s acid house illegal ravers reunited.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/991228671630750/

They might seem like just any other Facebook groups. But Facebook has come alive with 90s rave revival groups, where the rave generation rapidly bond over a common love.

During the early 1980s, Brits partying in the Balaeraics brought home a very special souvenir. Acid house music hit the nation, along with Ecstacy (and just about anything else they could lay their hands on). The (so-called “designer") drug had been intended for therapeutic use in marital counseling. If you have experience of it, you can see how it works. Users experience an “ecstatic" euphoria, but also a kind of shared empathy and a sense of compassion, allowing them to both speak and (more importantly) listen, without judgement. A state that united users with a universal acceptance.

Events would be a badly kept secret with a phone number to ring for the location, often two, just to throw the police off the scent. 👽. You would all gather in an abandoned warehouse or just a field, then dance until dawn. The DJ managed the room and churned out a mix of the biggest bangers, building sweaty youngsters into a frenzy of whistle blowing, lolly sucking, gurning, loved up kids. EDM (Electric Dance Music) had arrived with a large, powerful sound system of amplifiers and speakers. If you were there, everyone was your soul mate. Everything from water to chewing gum and prolonged hugs were shared.

https://youtu.be/gCWoAEhXaVU

 Roger Cook on TVs “The Cook Report" shocked the nation, when he exposed an event advertised as having “no illegal substances", as having drugs freely available. In truth, he didn’t know the half of it. Not only was Ecstasy bringing together hundreds of ravers from across the nation, in a communion of empathy heightened by the scent of VICKS VAPORUB, 💊but suddenly football violence which had plagued the 80s, fell by 30%. Pubs across the nation were safer too. Thousands of would be drinkers were having the time of their lives, faces aching from their smiles.

Nobody cared what you wore. It would be drenched and hanging off you pretty soon anyway. The trainers though..danceability was key and endurance was the order of the day.🌅. Commonly copious quantities of Ecstasy, LSD and Amphetamine was the secret weapon. Loved up ravers with pupils like saucers threw their hands in the air to catch the laser shows that marked the era. Nobody drank alcohol. A bottle of water that you brought at the start of the night, then refilled from the bathrooms. UV reactive smiley faces were the code.😃. A DJ used whatever tracks he could purloin and blend samples, taken from iconic media of the day into his own kind of magic. The dancefloor was controlled by their fingertips on the mixer, as the tempo rose, so did the euphoria. Every night was the best night of your life. 🕊️. Now the Cheesy Quavers have reunited using technology…this from an era before even CDs and Digital technology. Photographs were taken with a camera and videos, something still new to most of us, occasionally could be created by a monstrous block that had to be carried upon a shoulder. 📹

It really was a once in a lifetime atmosphere. There were hugs and bonding between lads and girls, or any mixture of the two. But there was absolutely no cause for any unease, because everyone was there for the same purpose. ☄️. To dance and have it large!!

Raves frequently continued well into the following day, as everyone defied the daylight, or anything else to stop them. ♥️. Until in 1994 they did. The government created “The Criminal Justice Bill", ironically the ultimate injustice to unity and peace. It would criminalise any gathering and saw helicopters scouring the cities and suburbs alike. But the rave wasn’t so easily curtailed. 👀. Ravers protested by doing what they did best. More than 5,000 people gathered in London to fight for the right to rave.

https://youtu.be/S6ruUooMK9w

So raves moved indoors and were no longer illegal, although the concept remains frowned upon to this day and were, in a sense, legitimised.

There was a kind of parting of the ways as more commercial sounds went upmarket, charging higher entrance fees. The fact that the take at the bar wasn’t going to be sufficient to sustain the venue, was hardly a secret. Underground music frequently occurred in old and derelict nightclubs. Afterall, there’s no denying a thorough mess was proudly made, as hedonism prevailed. 🎧.

The movement had made a huge impact on the political views of those involved. The ethos was free music and love all round. Everyone is welcome. Just be with us in the moment. 🚨. As the indoor scene rolled through the 90s, it spread throughout Europe, across the Atlantic and even down under. It was absolutely normal, expected even, for ravers to take such a cocktail of drugs that they couldn’t see the floor or got lost in inanimate objects, that were now the secret to the meaning of life. If it sounds like madness, that’s because it was. But it was all about Love and a DJ.🍄.

There was a split of sorts at this time, with the smarter clubs hosting House music, Big room floor fillers, happy hardcore and bounce tunes, while the rougher venues accommodated gabba, jungle, techno and drum&bass.🎛️ EDM even spilt over into mainstream popular music with acts like THE SHAMEN, KLF, MASSIVE ATTACK, THE PROGIDY and THE CHEMICAL BROTHERS. The louder the better and don’t spare the bass.

Generation X was born and the dance Revolution had started. 😃.

The media tried their best to spread the perilous danger of Ecstasy, but it just became another inside joke, for the people who simply couldn’t stop smiling. 📰 We kept our stash of lovey doves, Mitsibushis, billy whizz and acid tabs safe, by swallowing the lot. From the front pages of the tabloids to the nine-o-clock news, the rest of Britain must have thought we were barking mad! Nothing was going to stop us. Then I guess people just grew up.

But what age pulled asunder let Facebook bring together, to revel in the residual bond. There are numerous groups where old rave nostalgia and stories of ridiculousness are exchanged. Some cater to specific styles of music, but there’s a common theme…those smiles literally go on for miles!! When we look back fondly on days and nights, remembering that the blurrier the memory, the bigger the rave was. It probably sounds incredibly irresponsible and stupid, but the intention was to get as mashed up as possible. 👟 Upon making a public display of yourself, your rave family would give you a cheer and lots more hugs. It was incredibly safe considering what we were actually doing. You always knew the other 900 odd revellers had your back. We were truly blessed.

Of course, there existed the eternal dilemma of how to get home. You could catch a ride with anyone, but there was always the time spent shivering in the car outside the club, because nobody was capable of operating a car. 🚬 But somehow or other everyone DID get home safely, although when we talk about it, we are deeply ashamed of driving in that condition. We thank the house of God that we didn’t kill anyone. If you ever dropped in at a British motorway service station on a Saturday evening (a good place to link up for hunt the rave), or a Sunday, you may well have bumped into these dishevelled, and over friemdly bunch. We were the most harmless bunch of criminals you’re ever going to come across. Couldn’t get into a fight if we tried. We must have looked quite a fright, but in our minds, we were the beautiful people. We had pure love and pills to welcome anyone who would join us. It was of no concern whatsoever for a single girl to go home with a total bunch of strangers.🤪 Nobody who raved was actually capable of being a stranger or any kind of danger.

These were immediately people you knew you could trust. It’s reminiscent of the gatherings in club toilets, which were naturally unisex…just try tearing us apart!! 🌀

Now we communicate through the comments section. It’s since been said that the neuropathic threat of the particular type of Ecstasy we took back then was drastically underestimated. Sure enough, this post concerning those who fell into heroin, crack cocaine and alcohol addiction in the ensuing years indicates a current 3K participants. Many have found a place within addiction services, which is so very valuable. An addict has zero trust in a counsellor who has read about drugs in a book. There is the language of rave for us to communicate our connection.

But we have each other for support with no fear of judgement. These are our brothers and sisters and we will go to the ends of the Earth together. We will never let one of our own go in need. I guess we are Just one, big happy family. We pray to the God of dance music and are borne of pure love. There is no drunken brawling, spiking of drinks, necessity for females to even begin to feel any threat. Did our happiness scare the public and authorities so very much? 😃.Many of us have paid the ultimate price. Just yesterday, I went to look for a messenger and noticed the long list of names under the header, “deceased". Mental health issues are chronic and enduring. We were just young and having fun. 😢.

R.I.P. John Knowles, Alex Wooldridge, ~Theò de Belgeonne, ~Dan Carter,~ Jay Barstani, ~Deborah-Louise Wood, ~Andrew Barker, ~Jeff Ostle, ~Gideon Dawson,~Fynn Western Davey. ~Tim Branson.😢.

🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭

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